oh, and my measurements haven't changed, either.
if i was losing inches, i wouldn't care what the scale says. but, nothing's budging... weight or inches.

grrrr.

my weight-loss is not forgotten, but you'd think my body thought it had been. I've basically weighed the same (with some MAJOR up-fluctuations, but nothing that lasted more than a day, just creeped up incrementally then dropped back into place) for the last month. it's friggin' ridiculous.
as soon as i start working out and being good, it becomes more difficult to lose weight. how is that possible? the body is such a weird creature.

so, since what i was doing wasn't working, i decided to totally "jolt" my system back in place and i purposely ate crappy (not even NEAR as bad as i used to eat every day, though!) to tell my body that it's not, in fact, starving... and it's okay to let go of a little more of that pesky poundage.

so far, it seems to have worked because i didn't gain any weight (well, maybe, maybe half a pound) and i've dropped a pound for the past two days since i got back to eating right again.

it was good to have a weekend "off" - but, i found that even though i ate some "crap" (arby's grilled chicken cordon bleu sammy + KFC cheeseburger - weird, i know. it was an A&W inside of a KFC, burger + draft root beer, yum!) i found that i wasn't "missing it" - while it tasted good, it didn't taste THAT good... if that makes sense. in fact, i thought the whole time: wow, is this gonna make me have to work harder to get it off?? not a fun feeling.

it looks like half of my wardrobe will stay behind for vegas, i don't have a rat's ass prayer to fit into most of my clothes like i'd hoped. but, i suppose the consolation prize is that next year when i have kept this up, i'll have a FREE PASS to sell my "Fat" dresses for boatloads of money and buy a whole new "skinny girl" wardrobe..... and when talking about vintage clothes, you can get so many better dresses when the waist size is below, uh, let's say: 32"!!! (my current "skinny" dresses are 32")

currently, i weighed in at 202.5 today. for one day last week, i weighed in at 201.0. then, steadily (daily) even though i didn't overeat and worked out every day, i gained weight.. every day... until i weighed in at 205.5 last thursday. that's when i decided friday thru monday would be anti-starvation for my body.

we'll see how tomorrow goes... in the meantime, i'm still logging/bloggin/tracking at calorieking.com - username: emerc
and, i love it.

i just copied my old stats from another previous blog entry, so i thought i'd update the info:

OLD:
bust: 44
high (natural) waist: 40.5
mid ab (pant waist): 45
hip: 50
upper arm: 15
upper thigh: 29

CURRENT:
bust: 43
high (natural) waist: 37
mid ab (pant waist): 40
hip: 47.5
upper arm: 14
upper thigh: 27

... as always, still logging every morsel & blogging about it at calorieking.com
that place really works for me! :)
can't wait to be introduced to the "skinny me" eventually! yippee!

... still logging and blogging at calorieking.com :)

My weight has been pretty much 208 all week (which means it's for real!) i think 4 out of the past 7 days have been at that weight, one at 208.5, yesterday was 209.5 (i got scared haha), etc.

Anyway, looking at the charts on calorieking, it's about time for me to shed a couple more soon.... i can't wait!! :)

i'm still logging + blogging over there. :) everyday. it's becoming an obsession. lol.
e.

Food Total Cals Fat Prot. Carb. Fiber
Day Total 1582 59.3g 101.8g 62.2g 13.3g

the scale (this afternoon, before my shower... yes, i was LAZY today!) said 208.5!!!
It said 210.0 when I woke up this morning, so I am not sure if it REALLY counts, but HOLY HELL! It was so NICE to see it!

Also, my belt went a notch tighter tonight. It felt too big where I'd been wearing it, I tried to put it on the next notch, thinking I'd have to squeeze... and I didn't! YIPPEE, HOORAH!

still logging at calorieking.com - they've a very supportive group of people there that are really helping me!

xoxo <3 e.

Everyone at CalorieKing is very, VERY supportive and nice. the forums and blogs are interesting to read and fun to participate in, but everyone seems very christian, with a few exceptions. so, i need to watch my words, i think. haha.

one thing i DO love is: i love that their "success" stories are REAL people that are STILL active on the message boards and blogs. there's a lady.. "Linda" that is the top image on their before/after pictures, saying she lost 107 lbs... and she posts daily, still. that means something, i think.

anyway, lots of former weight-watchers people in there, so that feels good, too. makes me feel like a little less of a failure. i just wish i would have started this whole calorie counting thing last year, i'd already be thin by now! hahaha. oh well, better late than never, i say!

also, i'm really proud of some eating decisions i made today. very proud, actually... because sushi was sounding really, REALLY good... until i looked up the calorie info. yikes! i thought that was supposed to be healthy for you! no way!

i have been cold for 2 days. but, you wouldn't know it by how much my heat bill has been the past couple of months. i love having this huge house, but it costs a GRIP to keep the lights & heat on in here! yipes!

okay, i've saved room in my daily plan for some cocktails.. i'm gonna go consume 'em... i was waiting to go out, so i wouldn't have time to go over my allotted amount. haha. how dumb am i?
also, i wonder how sick people are of hearing me over-obsess with calories? i talk about it all the time now. the people i eat lunch with at work must hate to hear about it now. haha.
oh well. screw it, they want to lose weight, but eat shit like an "everything" bagel, with melted cheese on top, garlic, onions, poppyseeds, etc., etc. (literally, everything) + cream cheese, but then scoff if i talk about calories!
my huge lunch today (a whole bbq/turkey sandwich -241 cal-, french onion soup -80 cal- + 6 saltine crackers -77 cal-, yum!) came in wayyyy below their damned everything bagel -430 cal- + Cream Cheese -170- (geez, you could have had a cheeseburger for that!), so no matter what they think: i win! haha!

well, it's official... i'm a paid member now. and what sucks? the online version is different than the desktop edition that i spent my 14-day trial period on, and i don't like the online version as much... BUT, the upside is: i've made my blogs "public" so i don't have to re-post my food stats, i can just log them in one place now. that'll save a bunch of time :)
also, you'll get to see the charts/graphs (that aren't as good as the desktop edition, but they're there nonetheless) that tabulate how much your carbs/fat/protein intake was, how much exercise you did, etc., etc.

anyway, here's the link: http://www.calorieking.com/public/?member=emerc

i weighed in at 211 today, so that felt a lot better. i have a feeling tomorrow will be a better weigh-in, too. i think part of my problem last week (when i actually started to think about it) is... i began drinking water. which is rad. but, i did it for 3 days, then, stopped. so, i probably was all bloated, then, went back to "normal" water retention. i NEED to keep drinking water on a regular basis... i joined the "water club" at work and i get all the filtered water i can drink for $5/per month. prety good deal, i think... i just have to remember to get off my ass and fill my water bottle! ahha.

i've also discovered that adding "lemonade" flavored Crystal Light On The Go packets to water helps it go down, FAST! i don't add a whole one, maybe like a 1/4 packet per 32 oz. water, tastes like you squeezed a real lemon in it. very yummy.

i've decided that chicken is my favorite food on my new healthy eating kick. it's got so much protein, it's low calorie, low fat... and i love chicken, yum! seriously, i could eat chicken sandwiches for lunch + dinner every day and never get sick of it! well, only if i could have a boca burger every once in a while.

okay, i've ranted enough between here and my blog on calorieking today to make up for the past week or so that i've been MIA on here.. and since i think cherokee is the only one that reads this, i'll take it easy on her eyeballs ;P

yay me! :)

but, i'm still conscious of what's going on with my eating.
it doesn't seem like i'm making a ton of progress, though. i fluctuate within 5 pounds, barely losing... but, i have only over-eaten on one day, and it wasn't bad.... and oh so good. haha. applebees.. yum, but i digress...
i was at 212 this morning, after being at 211 yesterday, 213 the day before, 214 before that and 211 before that. *sigh* and, the last time i mentioned anything on here was the day prior to the 211, weighing in at 210.

it doesn't make much sense, really. i have been eating very small, sensible portions, good food, whole foods with fiber.... i've found things i enjoy and i've been eating them all the time. but, not every day is the same... i know that trap, too.

maybe i'm doomed to be fat.
but, i'm not giving into that yet.
i have enjoyed feeling more in control of what's going into my body.
i will admit, today i had a "munchies attack" - but, i defeated it with a diet dr. pepper somehow (maybe it's because i always drink diet pepsi... woo. what a switch-a-roo!)

anyway, i'm lost, but i haven't forgotten.

212.5 (expected, after this carb-heavy weekend)still, better than 221.5!

Weight Chart from Thurs Jan 5 2006 to Sun Jan 15 2006.

221.50
221.50
213.50
213.50
216.50
216.00
214.50
215.00
213.50
211.00
211.00

Diary Food and Exercise Report
This report was generated by the CalorieKing.com
Diet Diary. Saturday, 14 January 2006
Daily Summary Energy Gained Through Food: 1570 cals    
Total Fat: 16.9 g
Energy Burnt Through Exercise: -0 cals    
Total Carbs: 207.7 g
Net Energy: 1570 cals    
Total Protein: 67.7 g
Energy Budget: 1667 cals    
Total Fiber: 26.0 g
End Result: 98 Calories under budget    

Breakfast item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
1 venti (20 fl.oz) of Starbucks: Hot Drinks: Caramel Macchiato w. Nonfat milk 275 50.0 1.2 0.0 16.2
total 405 70.0 6.2 4.0 21.2

Lunch No items logged (i slept in late, so breakfast was actually lunch, at like 2:30pm)

Dinner item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 burger (2.5 oz) of Boca Burger: Vegetarian Meals: Burger Patties All American Flame Grilled 90 5.0 4.0 4.0 13.0
1 cubic inch (0.6 oz) of Cheese: American Single Fat-Free 24 2.1 0.1 0.0 3.6
1 tablespoon, 1/2 oz of Hellmann's: Mayonnaise: Just Too Good, Reduced-Fat 25 2.0 2.0 0.0 0.0 1
2 Slices of Oroweat Light Bread 80 18.0 0.5 7.0 4.0
1 serving (11.4 oz) of Yoplait: Yogurts: Nouriche, Light Fruit Flavors 172 33.0 0.0 6.0 10.0
total 391 60.1 6.6 17.0 30.6

Snacks item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.8 oz) of Kashi: Diet Bars: GOLEAN Crunchy! Chocolate Peanut Bliss 170 30.0 4.0 5.0 9.0
2 serving, 1/2 cup Desserts: Jello, Fat-Free, Sugar-Free 20 0.0 0.0 0.0 2.0
4 serving (12 fl.oz) of Pabst: Beer: Draft (4.7% alc) 584 47.6 0.0 - 4.8
total 774 77.6 4.0 5.0 15.8

Exercise No items logged

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up to pee at 8am, weighed myself, it read: 212, which made me feel AWESOME... then, i went back to bed because my beer coma wasn't done messing with my head... when i woke up around 11 am, i re-weighed, just for the heck of it, and the scale decided to be even nicer to me.... and, i'll TAKE IT! ;)

Diary Food and Exercise Report
This report was generated by the CalorieKing.com Diet Diary.
Friday, 13 January 2006
Daily Summary
Energy Gained Through Food: 1755 cals    
Total Fat: 32.0 g
Energy Burnt Through Exercise: -0 cals    
Total Carbs: 206.1 g
Net Energy: 1755 cals    
Total Protein: 77.4 g
Energy Budget: 1667 cals    
Total Fiber: 20.3 g
End Result: 87 Calories over budget    

Breakfast item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
total 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0

Lunch item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 sandwich of McDonald's: Sandwiches: Chicken McGrill no Mayo 301 37.0 5.0 3.0 27.0
0.5 tablespoon (0.5 oz) of Mayonnaise: Reduced-Fat Light 24 0.6 2.5 0.0 0.1
1 tsp or 1 packet (0.2 oz) of Spreads: Mustard, prepared, yellow 3 0.4 0.2 0.2 0.2
16 fl.oz of Souper Salad: Beverages: Minute Maid Light Lemonade 10 2.0 0.0 0.0 0.0
0.2 small (I HAD 5 FRENCH FRIES & THREW THE REST AWAY! VICTORY!)(2.6 oz) of McDonald's: Sides: French Fries 46 6.0 2.2 0.6 0.4
total 384 46.0 9.8 3.8 27.7

Dinner item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 sandwich (8 oz) of Wendy's: Sandwiches: Chicken Temptations, Ultimate Chicken Grill 360 44.0 7.0 2.0 31.0
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
total 490 64.0 12.0 6.0 36.0
Snacks item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
1 small, 2-1/2" dia, approx 4 per lb (3.7 oz) of Fruits, Fresh: Apples, w. skin, raw 55 14.6 0.2 2.5 0.3
5 serving (12 fl. oz) of Pabst: Beer: Blue Ribbon (3.9% alc) 565 41.5 0.0 - 3.5
total 750 76.1 5.2 6.5 8.8

Diary Food and Exercise Report
This report was generated by the CalorieKing.com
Diet Diary. Thursday, 12 January 2006
Daily Summary Energy Gained Through Food: 1387 cals    
Total Fat: 40.5 g
Energy Burnt Through Exercise: -39 cals    
Total Carbs: 183.4 g
Net Energy: 1348 cals    
Total Protein: 93.4 g
Energy Budget: 1667 cals    
Total Fiber: 39.9 g
End Result: 319 Calories under budget    

Breakfast item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
total 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0

Lunch item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
3 cup (2 oz) of Fresh Express: Salads: Blends, Fancy Field Greens 32 6.0 0.0 4.0 2.0
1 serving, 1/2 large breast (3.2 oz) of Chicken: Breast, broiled or grilled, no skin 152 0.0 3.3 0.0 28.5
0.25 serving, 1/4 cup (1 oz) of Kroger: Cheese: Mexican Style, shredded 24 0.1 2.0 0.0 1.5
1 serving (1 oz) of Seeds: Sunflower, raw, no shell 160 5.0 14.0 3.0 6.0
total 368 11.1 19.3 7.0 38.0

Dinner item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 salad (5.8 oz) of Wendy's: Sides: Side Salad, no dressing 35 8.0 0.0 2.0 1.0
1 sandwich (8 oz) of Wendy's: Sandwiches: Chicken Temptations, Ultimate Chicken Grill 360 44.0 7.0 2.0 31.0
1 serving, 2 tablespoons of Kroger: Salad Dressings: Ranch Fat-Free 28 7.0 0.0 9.5 0.0
total 423 59.0 7.0 13.5 32.0

Snacks item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
1 bar (1.8 oz) of Kashi: Diet Bars: GOLEAN Crunchy! Chocolate Peanut Bliss 170 30.0 4.0 5.0 9.0
1 NLEA serving (5.4 oz) of Fruits, Fresh: Oranges, California Navels 75 19.3 0.2 3.4 1.4
6 cup of Orville Redenbacher's: Popcorn: Smart Pop, Butter Mini Bags, popped (microwave) 90 24.0 0.0 3.0 3.0
total 465 93.3 9.2 15.4 18.4

Exercise
exercise energy (cals) 3 mins of Walking: Up stairs -39 total -39

Diary Food and Exercise Report
This report was generated by the CalorieKing.com
Diet Diary. Wednesday, 11 January 2006

Daily Summary
Energy Gained Through Food: 1575 cals    
Total Fat: 41.4 g
Energy Burnt Through Exercise: -0 cals    
Total Carbs: 228.9 g
Net Energy: 1575 cals    
Total Protein: 95.0 g
Energy Budget: 1667 cals    
Total Fiber: 29.5 g
End Result: 92 Calories under budget    

Breakfast item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
16 fl.oz of Coffees: Brewed, Percolated 5 0.0 0.1 0.0 0.6
2 serving, 2 Tbsp (1 fl.oz) of Milk: Cow, Fat-Free, Skim 22 3.0 0.1 0.0 2.2
total 157 23.0 5.2 4.0 7.7

Lunch item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 sandwich (8 oz) of Wendy's: Sandwiches: Chicken Temptations, Ultimate Chicken Grill 360 44.0 7.0 2.0 31.0
0.5 serving, 2 tablespoons of Kroger: Salad Dressings: Lite Ranch 33 1.5 3.0 0.0 0.0
1 salad (5.8 oz) of Wendy's: Sides: Side Salad, no dressing 35 8.0 0.0 2.0 1.0
total 428 53.5 10.0 4.0 32.0

Dinner item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 sandwich (8 oz) of Wendy's: Sandwiches: Chicken Temptations, Ultimate Chicken Grill 360 44.0 7.0 2.0 31.0
total 360 44.0 7.0 2.0 31.0

Snacks item
energy (cals) carbs (g) fat (g) fiber (g) protein (g)
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
1 bar (1.8 oz) of Kashi: Diet Bars: GOLEAN Crunchy! Chocolate Peanut Bliss 170 30.0 4.0 5.0 9.0
0.25 serving, 4 mints (0.6 oz) of Lifesavers: Candy: Pepomint 15 3.8 0.0 - 0.0
1 small, 2-1/2" dia, approx 4 per lb (3.7 oz) of Fruits, Fresh: Apples, w. skin, raw 55 14.6 0.2 2.5 0.3
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
1 bar (1.2 oz) of Kashi: Granola Bars: Chewy Peanut Peanut Butter 130 20.0 5.0 4.0 5.0
total 630 108.4 19.2 19.5 24.3

Exercise No items logged

this morning:

i'm a little disheartened, yesterday AND today the scale number has jumped up. yesterday it was 216, today: 216.5. i'm not giving up, i just wasn't expecting to see the numbers INCREASE when i feel like i'm working so hard to make them decrease.

maybe it's my period or something. or sodium intake. but, i'm only cutting one thing at a time here. haha.
meanwhile, i still love wendy's chix sammy. yum. i could eat that shit every day. it totally fills me up, too.

i'm noticing that i'm hungry a LOT now. often, throughout the day... every couple of hours. so, that's why i have so many snacks listed. if my stomach is growling, i feed it a little snacky. otherwise, i wait til my meals. but, i haven't been able to wait. not for a few days now. but, i guess that's good, right? 5-6 "meals" a day is better than 2-3 larger ones, right? or does it really matter in the end?

regardless, i'm always freakin' hungry. i'm just proud that i'm not filling my face full of junk food! yay me!